Kendra, more than the girl next door

This girl kills me. Some people can't stand her, but I'm addicted to her. I love her new show, its so funny and she cracks me up. And now she has me wanting one of these:

The Kendra Wilkinson 'Sport Pole'

Professional Portable Exercise
& Dance Pole

I can have my own stripper pole and put it on my Christmas list without sounding like a whore.
This takes an incredible about of core strength and endurance, not to mention keeps you flexible and healthy.
I want one.
$250

Possibly the "healthiest" dessert ever...

and I created it... It's a little odd and obscure. But really simple, but really complex. Since my blog is called Swank Simplexity, aren't I allowed to do things like that? I love coming up with really weird combinations of foods and last night I had the urge to make a healthy, vegan dessert.
*factoid about myself you may or may not already know from my McDonalds post: I'm vegetarian, and was vegan for a while. I'm a food snob and prefer organic, healthy foods any day.

Anyways, last night I had a definite sweet tooth. I knew I wanted some Dark Chocolate, so we went and got a Chocolove 65% dark chocolate bar. For those who are food stupid: Dark Chocolate (NOT milk chocolate) in moderation is great for you. It's full of antioxidants and nutrients, boosts hydration, smoothness and protection against sun exposure in the skin.
I took two squares off the bar (ok and ate one) then melted it over 2 bananas. If you've never heated a banana up in the microwave it does the most incredible thing, it releases it's sugar and gets all soft and sweet. (Thing banana split minus all the fattening ice cream and whipped cream) I shouldn't have to tell you the nutritional benefits of a banana. Fruit is good for you, 'nuff said.
Then once the chocolate had melted, I spinkled a little bit of unsweetened organic coconut shreds over it, and some raw almonds slivers. Almonds have omega-3's which help fight skin aliments and helps fight belly fat.
If this sounds gross to you, too bad...you're missing out on one of the best tasty, late night snacks I've ever had. And I didn't feel an ounce of guilt. Be jealous.

the birds and the bees....i mean turtle and boot

Confused Tortoise Has Sex With Boot - Watch more Funny Videos

I can't watch this poor little guy with out dying laughing and then once the video's done...I can't help but recreate that sound he makes every time. Someone should have given him "The Talk."

Vegas...

So, my boyfriend is in Vegas till Friday...I felt fine with it until his friend just called me and said he can't find him. I got off a plane in San Francisco this evening and he was already in Vegas...let's just say I have yet to communicate with him since he touched down in the damn city of sin. And right up until this point I was completely ok with him being there with his two best guys friends. But now after that phone call...not so much. Thanks Vegas. FML.

Award.

I got awarded !!

Many thanks from sunder at "ourshades of gray" for thinking of me and my blog!! Much appreciated.